


Like That

by Anonymous



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Clueless Kaworu, Daddy Kink, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecurity, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 21:07:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's taken such a long time for Shinji to learn to ask for what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like That

   Cicadas sing outside the window. The summer evening combined with their shared body heat has their clothes sticking to their bodies, their skin sticking to each other's, and Kaworu's mouth tastes oddly like cherries when their tongues meet.

   It's far from the first time they've done this, but it's still the farthest they've gone. Shinji isn't sure why there's such an apparent difference between grinding like _this_  - with Kaworu's meagre weight on top of him and their lips smeared with each other's saliva because their kisses have become sloppy with how frantic they are to get off with so many layers of clothes between them - and doing it bare, but they've had enough Talks and Discussions and Kaworu never pushes for anything, not even just this.

   It makes Shinji all the more anxious when it's his turn to push.

   "Mm..." Shinji grabs at Kaworu's ass, encouraging him to grind down harder. He throws his head back and closes his eyes, letting the pleasure cloud his mind so he doesn't have to think when he says, " _Daddy_."

   The word comes out all in one rush of breath, the syllables slurring together and Shinji barely has a chance to wince at how desperate it sounded before Kaworu snaps upright. Still straddling Shinji's hips, he looks to the door, eyes sharp, and then at the closet, and then, finally, down at Shinji's face.

   "Shinji-kun." His voice is hard, serious, and Shinji can't breathe, wishing he could swallow the word back and get Kaworu's hips to move against his like they had been a minute ago and forget this ever happened. "Where is he?"

   Shinji only blinks at him. "W-who?"

   "Ikari-san." Kaworu says the honourific like he doesn't really mean it. He's looking at the window now, squinting as though he's actually going to find Gendo there, peeking at them; as if Shinji had somehow noticed with his eyes screwed shut while he was trying to muster the nerve to say that _word_ \- "Is he watching us?"

   "No, no." Shinji rests his fingertips against the side of Kaworu's jaw, gently urging him to look at Shinji again, their eyes meeting as he brushes soft, white hair back behind Kaworu's ear. "Kaworu-kun, I meant you." A beat of silence, and then, "I don't call... him... that."

  Under Shinji's touch, Kaworu relaxes. His hand slips to the back of Kaworu's neck and urges him back down for another tender kiss, feeling the angel's slow exhale against his lips. "I'm sorry," he mumbles the word right into Shinji's mouth. "I think you'll have to explain this to me."

   And it's the genuine kind of _explain this_ , not the demanding kind, the kind that comes out of Misato's mouth when he's late home, or out of his father's mouth whenever he makes any kind of independent decision, really, but Shinji won't think about that right now. _Explain this..._ Shinji feels the tips of his ears go pink, and Kaworu sits up again and gets off of him, giving him space to talk. After months and years of repression, to just come out with it... the idea chills him. 

   The bed shifts as Kaworu makes himself comfortable, head on Shinji's shoulder, looking up at him in rapt attention. It had taken Kaworu long enough to understand and accept the nuances of sex, especially between two people who couldn't reproduce. This isn't logical. To most, it is sick and inhuman in all ways. He isn't sure there's a way to explain it. 

    _Confidently_ , he decides. Valiantly and with no outward shame, no matter how squirmy he's growing under Kaworu's calm gaze.

   It's taken such a long time for Shinji to learn to ask for what he wants.

   "I-it just turns me on, okay?" And there is shame in the heat that begins to stain his cheeks, but the expression on Kaworu's face doesn't change at all, still patient, still trying to understand. Shinji swallows again. "It's kind of... naughty. You know?"

   "Naughty." Kaworu tests the word, deep in thought, scanning his mental inventory of strange things Shinji and other Lilin say and do, is he familiar with this?

   "But it's also safe," Shinji adds, hesitantly, after a moment of thought. "Like... putting love into a word where there wasn't any before." 

   He doesn't even want to imagine what his father would say if he could hear him admitting that. He probably wouldn't say anything; just laugh, and turn his back as he always does.

   Shinji tries not to think about it. He just trails his fingers up and down his boyfriend's clothed back, trying to focus, with a certain fondness, on the times in the past when Kaworu had posed questions about the many ways that the Lilim love and show their love to one another. This is just another one of those ways. Whether Kaworu truly understands the concept of taboo, or just puts it aside for Shinji's sake, he doesn't know. He isn't sure he wants to.

   He waits, and listens to the cicadas crying outside. Kaworu thinks it over for what feels like a century, until, at last, a small smile breaks. "If it makes you happy, you can call me whatever you want to... son."

   Shinji freezes for a moment. "Oh my god," he says when his voice returns to him, the tremble making it obvious that he's trying not to laugh, "Kaworu-kun, that's..." - _please don't laugh, don't hurt his feelings, he's trying really hard_ \- "It's not like _that_."


End file.
